When people tell me extravagant out burst of worship isn’t me I think to myself you’re right it’s not you it’s the depths crying out to deep. But to go deep you must surrender. It wasn’t my personality either but now it’s my lifestyle.
So.. back in the day I would not lift my hands during worship. Because I lived with so much anger in my heart. I would clap my hands and sing because my mom made me😂. Raising my hands was a no. I felt like the whole room was watching me and that was not my style. I reflected on the outside what was going on in the inside. I was pretending to be ok but I was broken inside. I would see others and their extravagant expressions of worship and would look at them with the eyes of judgement and discuss. I was too cool for that, my friends were watching me.
I went to a youth rally. I went to see the guys truth be told. I walked in like I was super cool (I wasn’t). During worship I felt like I needed to move to dance.. but that was a no. The message was so for me. Then the unexpected happened. I was called by the preacher to the front.. I said NO I’m good! But he sent someon to get me. Can you say embarrassing! I was dying inside, a room full of young people and me the only one in the altar.
The preacher began to pray over me and then began to prophecy which I had no idea what that was at the time. Everything he was saying started to break me layer by layer. I felt my legs turn to mush and I began to rock, then the flood of crying happened. All of the sudden I was on my knees snot everywhere... I mean everywhere for real. From the carpet to my hair, to my face like a spider webb. I learned the meaning of true worship that day. It was my surrender. I never worshipped the same way from that day forth. I worshipped like who I was called to be not who I was.
Dancing, lifting my hands, twirling none of that was my personality but it’s not for me or about me. When I let him in he changed my personality to his image and so my worship followed. So if you see me on my knees, dancing, lifting my hands or on my face know that I paid a big price, the price was my pride, my brokenness, my surrender.
When people tell me extravagant out burst of worship isn’t me I think to myself you’re right it’s not you it’s the depths crying out to deep. But to go deep you must surrender. It wasn’t my personality either but now it’s my lifestyle.
Worship like no one but one is watching
Lift your hands in surrender
Let go
Be transformed
And you will experience the Holy Spirit in you crying out for the God of heaven and the heavens will be attracted to where you are.
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